Food. Life. Laughs. Ramblings. Of A Tongue-in-Cheek Mom
Never too slow for fast food
September 5, 2019
Figuring out what to eat come lunch time is often a headache for a picky eater like me. One afternoon (and this happened before I went vegetarian), I had an elderly relative with me and that really brought on the migraine. Thankfully, some old folks can be such lovely obliging people that when you ask them what they would like to eat, hoping they’ll hand you the answer that will make that migraine go away, this is what you get:
Them: Whatever you like.
And this is what happens next:
You: No, what would you like to eat?
Them: Anything will do. Whatever you like to eat, I will eat.
You: You very sure???
Them: Yes, yes, yes, don’t be silly! We go eat anything you like. Come, come!
And inside your head, you’re going… and you better not say this out loud:
Really??!! ANYthing? What about your dentures? Didn’t you just complain to 12th Auntie (omg!) the other day about all those things you can’t eat now because your dentures are giving you heck?
What this means for you is that you’re still left with that thumping migraine you started out with. Groan!
And then suddenly, a bolt of lightning! A poster of a Spicy Korean Burger materializes before your eyes!
Realizing what a huge fan of fast food this 82-year-old is, your migraine instantly disappears. Poof, just like that!
You get her comfortably seated before skipping back up to the front counter to order a Spicy Chicken Korean Burger set for her, and a Beef ala carte for yourself. You’ve long vowed off fast food but just to make her happy, you help yourself to a few of her French fries and a few sips of her Coke, praying the Food Gods will forgive you for breaking your vow.
Well, okay, she’s never had a charcoal bun before and neither have you. You eye it with suspicion. You’ve never been able to figure out what charcoal is supposed to do for you, and so when charcoal buns were a trend, you kept your distance and ignored them completely. Now there’s a real-life 3-dimensional charcoal bun staring right at you and it looks deadly 😛 .
Our overaged teenager? She doesn’t even blink. She dives right in, dentures and all! That’s right, fast food don’t mean you gotta eat it fast. When you’re 82, you can take your own sweet time with your burger and fries. Adjust those darned dentures if you need to. The world can slam on the brakes, no worries, we’ll wait for ya 😉 .
And finally, she’s done licking the platter tray clean. There’s not a crumb nor a French fry nor a molecule of Coke left when she smacks her lips, grabs her walking cane and hobbles off to wash her hands. Now that’s a meal eaten with gusto! Yup, and remember you’re never too old, or too slow, for fast food! And don’t let those dentures stop you either! You go girrrrl!