Tissue box auntie

So I’m trying to pick out a few more boxes of Kleenex facial tissues. Chronic bulk shopper that I am, even with 7 packets of coffee, 6 body shampoo refill packs, 4 jumbo packs of 2 regular packs of 10 bathroom rolls (’cause 80 rolls is just how I roll lol) and 2 packs of 4 tissue boxes already in my cart, I’m still not done. Need to snag 2 more 4-packs. At least.

You’d think I’m running a freakin’ hotel. That’s right, running a household with 3 kids is like running a hotel. I don’t do last minute. I always buy in bulk and stock up. Because heaven forbid, if the Apocalypse should hit tomorrow and we run out of toilet rolls or peanut butter or batteries or something. So I kinda always wanna be prepared lol.

Back to my story. It’s a very busy day at the store, the Kleenex aisle is a moving river of women and my shopping cart is parked nearby. When I happen to glance over at it, I notice a well-dressed “auntie” in her 40’s peering left and right at the contents of my loaded cart.

So I’m like ??

Tissue box auntie

She: Ah, where (did) you get this?

Me: Over there. (pointing)

She goes over and is back in front of me in seconds.

She: Where? Where? (It’s) not there. Where (did) you find this?

Me: Over there. (swallowing hard and pointing again to the same shelf)

She disappears and reappears several more times, looking more frantic each time. I’m starting to think that she wants me to take her by the hand, lead her to the exact spot and place said tissue boxes into her arms.

Not happening!

Me: Well, it’s there somewhere or maybe they’ve run out.

Okay, “run out” is probably a bad choice of words. She might think I’m asking her to run out of the store (which might not be such a bad idea after all, come to think of it lol!). I’m guilty of flinging phrasal verbs around only to realize, wait a minute, I should probably grade my language, just in case.

Me: Err, maybe they’re out of stock.

She: I want (the) same one like this.


Tissue box auntie

She wants the same box design that I have? *sweats* I’m like, well, if you can’t find the same exact design, what’s the big deal? Nothing special about these boxes – same price, same size – and they’re just tissues which you use once and throw away. Just pick something else and move on with life. Gah!

Guess what? She reappears, this time waving her cellphone. I’m like, NOW WHAT?

She: I take photo, okay? (pointing to my tissue pack)

Lololol this woman is something else. But I’m a nice person.

Me: Sure. (holding up the pack for her)

Then she’s gone, whew! For good, I hope. But no, she’s back and asking if she can borrow my tissue pack so she can go show it to the staff. What?! She can’t be serious! My parking ticket is expiring soon and I ain’t paying for another hour of parking just to entertain her needless pursuit.

Me: Look, lady, I don’t have time for this. I can’t be standing here all day. I have to go.

I start pushing my cart and walking away. You know, it’d be nice if people would realize when they’re stretching the limits on other people’s time. And like I always say, throwing in a thank-you and/or sorry is not only the polite thing to do but it’d be really nice. Just sayin’.

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