The coming out

So one of Raine’s good friends from high school came out and told her parents she’s lesbian. This is an extremely smart girl who loves to joke and laugh and is on back-slappingly good terms with the boys at school but that’s not the point. Point is she’s always been something of a tomboy, very outgoing, very athletic.

Obviously her parents were (and probably still are) in shock. But they’re not the only ones. Raine was clearly taken aback and so was I. Even more so that her partner is a woman in her 30’s! Not that we have anything against anyone’s orientation or preference. In fact, we’re pretty open to this.

Just that we always thought of her a tomboy. I mean, so many girls are tomboyish in their teen years and later blossom into girly girls. So her coming out was like a ton of bricks though in the backs of our minds, we might’ve had our suspicions.

Apparently her parents took it all rather badly, which in turn, got me wondering how any parent should or would react to something like that. I hadn’t really given this much thought. But if it were my kid, I’m not sure how I would react either. Would you?

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  • Carli

    I can not honestly say how I would react. My son’s very good friend came out in high school and her mother was always so good about it. So much so that I have to commend her; I’m not sure that I could be as strong. Of course it ruined my dreams of my son marrying this girl. Bummer! And her girlfriends are always cuter than Colton’s…it’s like a double whammy! I guess at the end of the day I’d love and support my child no matter what. Even if were hard.

  • TracePoo

    This is a difficult topic! I told my husband (and myself) that I will always be okay with however my son is, but I guess we all don’t really know until we get there.

    Maybe her parents were more shocked by the age difference and that didn’t help?

  • Judy

    I think I would be crushed because of the values we hold in our family, but I would hope that I could keep my cool enough to make sure that my child knows no matter what that we love them and want them to be a part of our family.

  • KayK

    You love your kids and when they are old enough to make their own choices we have to love and support them. Be lucky they are healthy without disabilities or strung out on drugs. They are just choosing to love someone they are attracted to. We have to let them live their dreams not ours.

  • Melissa

    Depends on who her partner is. I’m not too cool with 30-somethings dating teens or early 20’s, especially if it’s my daughter. I’d probably be fine with it, as long as she was smart in choosing her partner. Honestly, I’d rather my daughter come out as a lesbian than out that she is pregnant by accident.


    I see some very open and loving mothers here who just accept that with an open heart. Honestly, I would be in shock if that were to happen to me and I need time to digest before knowing how to accept and react…

  • Clairity

    @Carli, Judy, KayK, mominrome, Blinka
    Show unconditional support once we get over the shock? Yes, I think you’ve pretty much summed it up for many of us here.

    @TracePoo, Melissa
    I agree, the age difference is a definite concern.

  • Stacie L

    Wow, kudos to her. I can’t even imagine how hard it was for her to come out. I have always thought that if one of my children came out to me as Gay that I would obviously be shocked, but I hope that I would be supportive and non-judging. I’d hate for them to ever feel judged by anyone, but especially by myself or my husband. I think I would be ok with it. I think there would be some sort of mourning that you’d have to go through as a parent if that make sense??
    I am following you from Feed Me Friday!! Hope you’ll come visit me!!! Thanks!

  • Jill

    Mmmm good post.

    We have young daughters now and they are more worried about marrying each other than thinking about other boys or girls.This makes me smile but in another 10 years, I am sure we will have to have to deal with this and other serious emotional issues.

    I agree that the issue is really the 30 year old that she is involved with. To me that is predatory and should not be accepted.
    In saying that, I can remember being a teenager and it was as much the shock aspect as anything real!

    I will definitely come back to this post- thanks for sharing.

    I am following from the blog hop- please feel free to drop back to our blog when you have a minute.

  • Denise McDonough

    I think this blog is great! I like how you don’t judge. I have some family and friends that are gay/lesbians and I love them all the same and yes it is shocking when they finally come to tell but that does not change the person <3

    I found you at the blog hop! and i have read a couple of your posts 🙂 I love them! I hope you can get a chance to read and follow mine 🙂 I am starting a weekend long "birthday" give away 🙂 come friday!