Look who’s been tagging along

Dear manufacturer of my sleeveless Nike sports top,

I have 3 of your sports shirts in different colors and I’ve been wearing them for quite a while without incident. Several days ago, however, the red one started poking me in the side of my waistline, and now this purple one too. So I flip it over and I see these, that’s right, not 1, not 2 but 4 tags…

… or should I say, 3 volumes of printed text in 4 different languages (English, Chinese, Japanese and Korean, although I speak 3.5 languages, Korean is not one of them) plus a smaller tag stating the size of the shirt!

That’s an entire wash care booklet right there! I had no idea I’d been exercising with all this extra weight under my shirt and I sure don’t appreciate how it’s been poking me and making me itch either. And yes, of course, I cut them off!

These are just ordinary workout shirts, nothing fancy about them so I would just dunk them in the wash without so much as a second look. I mean, wouldn’t anyone? So you’re really wasting your time.

I suggest you save your instruction booklets for shirts with diamond studs or gold threads or which may otherwise not survive a regular trip to the washer.

Thank you.

Yours taggingly,

Clairity

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