Tell me, what can be more frustrating than hopping on a long haul flight, full of anticipation that you’ll have time to catch some zzz’s and maybe a movie or two, only to have all of your grand plans dashed to pieces by one person? Just one person.
That little old lady in the window seat next to you.
Harmless enough, right? Wrong!
She was clearly on a crusade to keep me awake for the entire length of our 13-hour flight! If I’d even so much as dreamed I was going to catch a single wink of sleep, I was sorely mistaken. Every time I closed my eyes, she would do something to wake me up!!
If she wasn’t stabbing my ribs with her elbow, she was knocking her knee into mine. I mean, seriously, who sits flapping their knees open and shut non-stop like a chicken flapping its wings?! If she didn’t have her reading light shining down on me, she was flagging down the attendants asking for stuff. She tried to ask me stuff too but happily we didn’t speak the same language so her attempts hit a dead end.
If she wasn’t refusing her pre-ordered vegan meal, she was asking for chicken in the middle of the night. Seriously, is chicken even vegan?! If she wasn’t playing with the buttons on the remote, she was gesturing to get up every half hour to go to the bathroom, or to walk up and down the aisle and make a nuisance of herself, or something, which was fine by me so long as she would just go find somebody else to annoy.
All this fidgeting and going back and forth! And in a sari too! I wondered if she might have some sort of hyperactive personality disorder? Seriously! And the fact that she was totally unabashed and unapologetic made it even more annoying. She even had the audacity to openly hijack my spot in the bathroom line, the one I’d been standing in for 10 minutes!
As soon as the plane landed, she sprang out of her seat (literally) and if she could’ve, she would’ve swung over our heads Tarzan-style to get to the aisle. She gestured for us to get out of our seats and step out to the aisle which was near impossible, considering that everyone else had spilled out by then to make a dash for their carry-ons.
Even as she was gesturing us to make way for her (the little control freak!), she was pointing furiously to a young man a few rows away to unload her bags off the overhead. Not sure if she even knows the guy because he looked positively shocked! Once she got on the aisle, she fought to get ahead of us by elbowing Raine in the ribs and sending her staggering backwards, backpack and all. I kid you not!
What an absolutely crazy 13 hours that was! You can only imagine my relief that we’d finally landed. To be honest, I generally enjoy interacting with people of different countries and cultures when I travel. But this woman wins “The Most Annoying Fellow Passenger of the Year” award hands down.