Teens | Hip to be Mom

I think I’ve probably read all of 2 parenting books in all of the years after my babies were born. As you can imagine, with my kids being teens and megateens now, it’s been a while since I put Dr Spock back on the shelf. So you’ll excuse me for not having heard of attachment parenting… until this past week, or tiger mommying or detachment parenting for that matter.

I have to say I did glean some useful pointers from Dr Spock and company and I’m grateful for the free and plentiful advice handed down from older relatives. I value their wisdom and experience which, if you think about it, comes from years of having been there, done that. There’s so much we can learn from them without having to make those mistakes ourselves. I’m all for short cuts.

But still, me being me, I run it through my giant sieve for good measure and filter out the ones that fit in with our situation and beliefs. And throw in a few of my own. And that’s basically my randomly put together, sieved and seasoned to taste parenting style. What’s yours?

Five minutes

Posted by Clairity 1 Response »

Apr 182012

So Raine had her first taste of impromptu speeches in her public speaking class. Get a blind topic and the clock starts ticking. She has 5 minutes to prepare for a 5 minute speech. I know it sounds scary but I’ve done it in my college Speech class and I kinda like the adrenalin rush. The trick is to say whatever comes to mind and just keep talking.

Raine does well in the prepared speeches, she has self-confidence and a clear diction. Impromptus are new for her though and something I’m glad she gets to experience. I view public speaking as an important skill to have. In my books, probably more so than ballet or piano . Which my kids know nothing about. Tsk tsk, un-tiger mom!

There was a bit of excitement when it came to deciding what outfit to wear. I lost count of how many tops she paraded around, hers and mine, the day before her speech. Her teacher had set out restrictions on appropriate attire. No reds, only dark colors. Nothing loose that resembles maternity clothes. Then again, with the barely-there dress culture these days, limits have to be set or she might have people showing up in their itty-bitty shorts.

Initial jitters aside, Raine managed to keep right on talking till her 5 minutes was up, without falling into any silent gaps. So proud of her. I still have no idea though how she made her way to the front of the class in those 5-1/2 inch pumps .

So we went shopping for a business suit. Not something we do every day but Raine has to give a speech in her Public Speaking class this week.

Round 1 of parsing over the working women’s section: OMG, stripes? Um, no, I don’t think so!

Going through the racks: Do you seriously expect me to wear this? Or this? Or this, eww!

Moving to another set of racks: OMG, stripes again?! I think all the girls are going to wear striped shirts.

Looking at the pants: Boot leg or slim cut?

Passing by yet another striped shirt: Argh! More stripes!

So she settled for a black pants suit. To go with her black peeptoe stiletto pumps.

Where’d my little girl go? She looks set to take the business world by storm.

1. Came home from sitting in traffic for 1.5 hours and discovered our laundry’s all done. Elves are real, y’all!

2. Good thing my girls said to forget John Carter. Just read the news report that “Disney says ‘John Carter’ to lose $200 million”.

3. It totally shocks and disgusts me that people are still eating sharks fin soup! Hel-llo?? Wanna know what they do to those sharks? They fish them up, slice off their fins and throw them back into the water to die slowly! You (know who you are) might also like to know that sharks are living, breathing things that feel pain!

4. The girls are both working on their public speaking assignments. Wearing these thinking caps all week has been a strain. Well, at least we have the topics down pat. The rest should be a piece of cake. Still I’m starting to think maybe we all need a break. Thinking Cali .

5. Been a week of deep, meaningful discussions with my girls about what’s making news these days. From religion to prejudices to common courtesies to what makes a person tick. Tingles up my spine!

6. Today’s National Unplugging Day. Can you do it?

Shut down your computer… sorry, no can do!
Turn off your cellphone… gladly, it’s always in the other room anyways.
Stop the constant emailing, texting, Tweeting and Facebooking to take time to notice the world around you… no problemo.
Connect with loved ones… yup, me and the girls are connected on wifi.
Nurture your health… no sugar in my coffee.
Get outside… you kiddin’ me? it’s freakin’ 93 degrees out with a humidity of 930!
Find silence… listening to Ronan’s “When you say nothing at all”, does that count?
Avoid commerce… I would’ve if the utilities companies hadn’t robbed me of 196.30 today!
Give back… look who’s talking!
Eat together… we just had Chick in a Blanket (my version of Pig in a Blanket) – chicken wrapped in bacon. Roast carrots and potatoes. Iceberg lettuce with a touch of 1000 Island.

Have a fab weekend!

Was reading the news about a NC dad who pelted his 15yo daughter’s laptop for posting a rude piece about her parents on Facebook. Have you heard? Well, he posted a video response on her FB wall reprimanding her and then ended up firing 9 rounds into her laptop.

I can so see why he flew into a rage when he read the things she wrote. Frankly I would’ve too. She was ranting (with a healthy dose of expletives) about how she had to do chores around the house (like sweeping the floor and making her own bed, wow!) and saying that (get this!) her parents should pay her for doing stuff around the house.

That, if you ask me, was totally disrespectful and downright unacceptable! I’ll say he had every reason to be angry and disappointed but well, okay, his reaction might’ve been ju-ust a tad over the top .

I have to admit that at one point, I was contemplating if I should pay my son to wash my minivan. Many parents pay their kids to do chores around the house, to help out, even to score good grades in their exams (wow, this one’s really got me ). I know.

Well, at first, I thought it might be a good way for them to learn how to manage their money. Then again, they can always learn to do that with their allowance, right? So I changed my mind before I started what might’ve been a dangerous precedence for turning money into an incentive for everything they do.

Turns out Tommy Jordan, the laptop-shooting daddy, has it along the same lines as what I was thinking. His argument is this.

You live here in this house where we, your parents pay for everything – your laptop, your cellphone, your clothes, your shoes, your holidays, your education, your everything… And all you have to do is go to school, get driven back and forth heck, eat meals you don’t even have to cook yourself, collect your allowance and I have to pay you to do stuff around the house??!!

Indeed! Thanks for saying it out loud. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m your parent, not your employer, and as the family, we shouldn’t be bringing dollars and cents into every little thing we do. Well, that’s just me. What do you think?

Raine is taking a Public Speaking class at college this semester. I’m so excited for her because it was one of my favorite classes in college too. In fact, she’s preparing her first 2-minute speech, even as we speak.

What’s even more exciting is that she has to dress up in a suit. Pretty cool, huh? As I was rummaging through my collection of suits from my corporate days, I couldn’t help but smile. My sweet baby in a suit? Who would’ve thought?

I mean, when I was wearing them to work, she was just a toddler playing with her Lego and reading fairy tales, and now she’s going to be wearing my suit jacket and standing up there in front of her class, giving a speech!!

In a few years, she’s going to be sitting in her office with one of those fancy desk name plates on her shelf. What a proud day that’ll be! It’s amazing how quickly kids grow up. So hug them and kiss them every day, and take your time to enjoy them because before you know it, they’ll be wearing your suit.