Parenting » Hip to be Mom

Raine is taking a Public Speaking class at college this semester. I’m so excited for her because it was one of my favorite classes in college too. In fact, she’s preparing her first 2-minute speech, even as we speak.

What’s even more exciting is that she has to dress up in a suit. Pretty cool, huh? As I was rummaging through my collection of suits from my corporate days, I couldn’t help but smile. My sweet baby in a suit? Who would’ve thought?

I mean, when I was wearing them to work, she was just a toddler playing with her Lego and reading fairy tales, and now she’s going to be wearing my suit jacket and standing up there in front of her class, giving a speech!!

In a few years, she’s going to be sitting in her office with one of those fancy desk name plates on her shelf. What a proud day that’ll be! It’s amazing how quickly kids grow up. So hug them and kiss them every day, and take your time to enjoy them because before you know it, they’ll be wearing your suit.

More and more, I’m observing that moms (not everyone, of course) seem to be leaving kids to their own devices these days and keeping mum when their kids behave badly. And why is that, I wonder?

Last weekend, we were seated at a table next to 2 moms and their 2 daughters aged about 5. We were trying to have lunch (key word trying). But with these 2 little girls singing and shrieking on top of their voices, at a super-shrill super-high pitch, non. stop, it was impossible to have a meal without being driven up the wall.

We would’ve moved to another table further away but since it was lunchtime on a weekend, there was no escaping. All this time, the 2 moms are sitting there, eating and chatting, completely (repeat completely) oblivious to the ear-piercing shrieks and how everyone around them was grimacing.

Pretty soon, those 2 girls who incidentally were dressed like little tarts (hate to say this but are little girls becoming more sl*tty or what?), were yoyo-ing between other tables disturbing the diners (yes, they even climbed in and sat with the other diners) while their moms said and did absolutely nothing. at. all!

After the meal, the 2 very modern, dressed-up mothers got up, gathered their shopping bags and promptly started walking away. The little girls, noticing this, skipped and danced after them.

In another incident the same weekend, a balloon that a toddler of about 3 was holding had gotten away. We picked it up and were about to hand it back to him when his father came up, took the balloon off our hands and gave it back to the kid. No word of thanks. No eye contact. No acknowledgement. I would think this would’ve been the perfect opportunity to train his toddler to ‘thank you’, for instance (no brainer).

At these young ages, parents should be guided and taught simple manners and courtesies. In the case of the 2 girls, they’re old enough to be made to understand that it’s not okay to go around disturbing other people and acting loudly.

I think there’s a fine line between giving your kids the independence and freedom to grow and develop, and allowing them a free hand. And when they overstep that fine line, someone (and hopefully it’ll be their mom, not me!) has to put them in their place.

So why are we so afraid to reprimand our kids if we notice rudeness and other socially unacceptable behaviors? If the moms are not correcting them, who is going to do it? Should we really be surprised when our kids turn out into young adults who have no respect for others?

Oh, by the way, did I mention that at the book sale, we had to park far away and hop on a shuttle bus to get to the building where the sale was at? The bus ride was a blast but that’s another story .

The bus coming back was crowded with families carrying bags and boxes of books. We managed to secure seats but they filled up fast. When a mother carrying her baby came on, Raine stood up and offered her seat to her.

On the bench opposite us, there was another mother with 2 toddlers who had an extra seat on which she chose to “seat” her bag of books instead. That seat could easily have gone to the mother with the baby, no?

So am I a proud mama? You betcha .

If you have ~~a bunch of~~ two teens in the house, there’s no shortage of activity and chatter and I get to hear a lot of stuff that other moms probably don’t get to hear because, well, (I’m told by reliable sources) many moms don’t talk to their teens.

Which is really sad, if you ask me, but that’s the reality these days. Too busy with work. Too busy with life. Too busy making time for themselves. The parents of one of Raine’s friends frequently leave her home alone when they travel on romantic getaways, sans kids.

Many parents (and I’m not judging here) seem to find it easier just to buy their teens a car, shove a wad of cash into their hands and unleash their teens to do whatever it is they want to do with their friends and they (the parents) don’t want to know. And I think this is the recipe for teens getting into trouble!

We tend to look at teens and think, oh, they’re so big and tall now, surely they’re old enough to take care of themselves. Although they do look very much like adults, they still need your guidance which frequently involves listening, setting limits and knowing what is happening in their lives.

Me? I’ve got all day and I love talking to my kids and listening to everything from their excitement to their struggles to their love for funny tshirts. Of course, when I say talking, I also mean listening. It’s quite the adventure.

Steev’s away at college but I still talk to him every day, sometimes for up to 5 hours a day. Crazy, I know. How do we find so much to talk about? But yeah! We’ve enjoyed our mother-son talks since he was old enough to speak and turn cartwheels on the computer!

And with the girls, of course, we’re constantly chatting in the car. From simple things like what/where to eat, what color nail varnish to wear…� to the big ones like so what’s my college major going to be (okay, let’s see, we’re still scratching our heads on this question!)

So how often do you talk to your kids/teens and what do you talk about?

Crazy as it sounds, I wish we were doing the theme park circuit again. I’ve done the California theme park bit 3 times and once to Epcot Center in Orlando, Florida. Still that little child in me can’t wait to go again!

This last time, we just decided to do it at the spur of the moment in the middle of a cold, wet winter without even a roadside assistance plan. That’s adventure for you.

Each time I’ve been to a theme park, it’s been a whole new experience and I’ve chalked up a list of should’ve-done’s and not-to-do’s.

Sailing quietly past the ‘original’ pirate ship as cannons and guns boomed all around us on our favorite Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, Anaheim. We loved this ride so much we went back on it like 6 times .

1. Stay at a hotel within walking distance of the park and that lets you park for free. That way you can use the parking money to treat yourself and the kids to some snow cones and kettle popcorn.

2. Bring lots of snacks, and I mean, tons. Between me and the kids (that’s 4 of us), we must’ve gobbled over 100 granola bars during our week of theme park hopping last winter. Kids (and hyper adults like me ) get hungry quickly with all that walking and standing in line at the rides. Those granola bars were a real life-saver.

Fire and brimstone and thrilling stunts by real actors in the Water World show at Universal Studios, Hollywood. The set was amazing with real life-sized boats, airplanes and men on fire!

3. Assign each person to be in charge of something. That way, you can all enjoy a great time without the weight being on the shoulders of 1 or 2 people having to worry about the tickets are, or if you’ve left your camera behind. This makes the older kids feel important, and worked well for us.

4. Do a headcount every now and again to make sure your group is together. Theme parks are big, big places with big, big crowds and not exactly the best place to lose a child or leave someone behind.

Shamu doing the flip at Sea World, San Diego. Totally awesome killer whale. We were careful to sit in the no-splash zone. Can’t imagine getting drenched in winter, brrr!

5. Bring caps and sunblock if you’re going in the summer. Bring an extra set of clothing for younger kids. Wear comfy shoes. Wear light colored clothing in the summer.

6. The food at Disneyland, Anaheim is reminiscent of college cafeteria food, if you know what I mean. So it’s worth taking a short walk over to Downtown Disney for meals. Lots of restaurants there. Our favorite, Naples Ristorante E Pizzeria, serves a great pizza. There’s a cute waiter working there too .

Feel free to jump in and share your theme park tips and experiences. Oh, and if you’re at any of these theme park this summer, say hi to Captain Sparrow and Shamu for me, won’t ya?

Anyone else following the Casey Anthony case? Truth is I’ve not been able to stay away. Simple as that. Not that I even tried.

Being a mom myself, I find it truly appalling that a mother aka Casey Anthony could spin such a giddy web to lies to cover up what (I believe) she did to her little daughter. Mind you, Caylee Anthony was only 2. We hear about the terrible two’s but if you ask me, there’s nothing terrible about a child at age 2.

Two is when a child is just starting to become inquisitive about everything. I remember my kids at that age asking 100 questions per hour, and those little feet going 100 miles an hour.

It really tears me up to watch those pictures and videos of little Caylee, happy and carefree and totally oblivious to the fact that her own mother, the one person she should trust to love and protect her, would be the one to do something so unthinkable to her.

How could anyone snuff the life out of their 2-year-old, then throw her body out like garbage into the woods, just so they could go about their wild partying ways without being tied down to the responsibility of being a mother and raising their child? It’s absolutely beyond me.

I mean, Casey Anthony really didn’t have to kill Caylee. She had just about the best support system there is, one that would be the envy of young mothers everywhere. Her parents and brother doted on little Caylee (and who wouldn’t? she was so cute!). She could’ve just left her with them. Or given her up for adoption.

Day after day, I’m glued to the courtroom circus, legal analysis and never-ending twists and turns. Another week or so before the defense wraps up the case and then it’s anyone’s guess. I can’t wait to see how this will all turn out for Casey Anthony.