Humor & crazy stuff | Hip to be Mom

We’re being ‘entertained’ by the sounds of endless drilling, hammering and knocking coming from next door. The racket is going on. all. day. long so much so we practically have to shout to be heard!

Well, it’s not only our talking that’s interrupted, it seems. So is my singing. Every time I burst into song, I have to compete with the racket outside. And it seems that I do burst into song quite often over the course of the day. Before this, I just hadn’t realized how often.

Apparently I have a song for every occasion too. Sometimes I’m inspired by my girls’ show of affection. Like if they ask if I love them, I would jokingly burst into Michael Bolton’s “Said I Loved You But I Lied”.

Sometimes my answer to a question might be from a song. For instance, when my girls are shouting for me downstairs to hurry up or they’ll be late for class, I would reply with Michael McDonald’s “Ya Mo Be There”.

Or if my girls complain that they’re bored, my answer would be the Bee Gees’ “You Should be ~~Dancing~~ Studying, yeah!” Gets them every time ! Or if they’re asking where I’ve been, I’m likely to go “Splish splash, I was taking a bath”!

You get the picture! This bursting into song is quite involuntary, and yes, I know I’m weird and whacky but it’s fun and my kids love it.

Are you guilty of being a whacky mom too and what fun things do you do with your kids?

A lady called today to conduct a phone survey of some sort. As with these types of calls, I can never really make out 100% of what the caller is saying. Either I’m hard of hearing or the phone connection is wonky or the caller has language issues. Or all of the above, I’m not sure.

Anyhow our conversation went something like this:

She: So how’s your relationship with our Relationship Manager?

I didn’t catch his name but let’s just call him Mr Relm for short.

Me: (Oh now, that’s private, that’s between him and me .) There is no relationship with your Relationship Manager. He’s never called me. I’ve never heard from him. There is no relationship.

I could sense her uneasiness. Maybe she hadn’t expected such a long answer. It’s probably not on her script.

She: Um, would you like to do this survey in another language, ma’am?

Me: (I thought I’d just established my language prowess there! Okay, maybe she’s having trouble understanding me? Hmm!) No, English would be fine.

She: Okay, can we start the survey now?

Me: (Again?!!! *smoke coming out my ears*) Sure, can you make it quick please (before my patience runs out)?

She: So ma’am, how is your relationship with our Relationship Manager?

Me: (Here we go round the mulberry bush!) Like I just said, there is no relationship between me and your Relationship Manager, end of story.

Sorry, lady, but you caught me in the middle of skyping with my son and I really don’t have time for you, period.

How would you have reacted?

It’s been a while since we were this crazy. Set us loose in a newly-reopened grocery store and this is what happens.

We filled our tray with… well, these are veggies disguised to look like pastries. I swear there’s so much variety to choose from we had to flip a custom coin to help us decide!

And these are, well, I know what you’re thinking. Sushi, right? Heck no! Look again, see, they’re good old cauliflowers topped with peaches (some folks call them smoked salmon) and um, mushrooms (sometimes called unagi or eel, I think)?

Happy August! Can’t believe we’re in August. Now let me tell you how August has started for me…

Our water supply stopped suddenly on the last day of July. That can only mean one thing – that we roll into August with taps completely dry. Did I forget to pay the bill? No, I just did last week. Oh well, so it must be something else!

We have an outdoor water filtration system that just decided it would stop working. for no apparent reason. I don’t typically fall for the ‘no apparent reason’ story. But I was led to believe the filter had gotten blocked so no water was getting through.

Okay, fine, whatever! As long as I can brush my teeth and have my shower before bedtime, whatever it is can wait. In any case, I decided to call the filter company anyways and since it was Sunday night, what was I really expecting?

So yeah, whatever the problem might as well just add itself to my Monday morning blues list. If I’m going to be miserable, it might as well be a Monday, right?

First thing Monday morning, I call the filter company and they said they’d send someone over. The guy takes one look at my water filter and goes, why isn’t the lever turned on?

I’m like, right, so-oo that’s it, huh?!! Reeally, huh?

The lever’s been shut off, ma’am, that’s why you have no water!

Ya, ya, ya, I heard ya the first time!

Just great, someone must’ve turned the filter off to do a backwash and forgot to turn it back on! Fortunately, that someone wasn’t me (not going to name names here ). Unfortunately, I was the one standing in front of the water filter guy looking like an idiot.

The first day of August had me walking around with a paper bag over my head. Yes, what a laugh!

So, tell me, how did August start for you?

Obviously I’m not known as a klutz for nothing. Guess what? Humpty Dumpty had a great fall at the gym. Well, it felt like a great big fall because my knees, elbows and palms were stinging out loud! I lost my focus for one split second and… splat!! Hahaha, who knows how I even do stuff like that!

Thank goodness there was only one other person (no cute hunks) in the gym at the time and she was happily chatting on her cell phone. Maybe she heard the da-poww as I went sprawling across the floor like a failed ballerina. Well, whatever !

I picked myself up, looked around and pretended like nothing happened. It was just hilarious, I tell ya! Raine and I sat there laughing. I was expecting some brilliant bruises today but surprisingly, there’s only just this one bruise on my right elbow. I took a picture of it but it’s a little embarrassing to post up .