Humor & crazy stuff » Hip to be Mom

The secret admirer

Nov 072011

Here’s a funny story that my girl friend and I still laugh about when we get together. Back in the early years when we were both working fulltime, we often lamented that we were married to two of the most unromantic creatures in the world. Sad but true. Why is it that the world’s most hopelessly romantic women somehow wind up with the world’s most unromantic husbands?

In all my married life, I’ve only received flowers once, and my girl friend, never!! While we were always looking for birthday and husband anniversary gift ideas, we never got a single petal in return. She was going on about how her co-workers were always receiving flowers and proudly displaying them at their desks, and she had nothing to show. Yeah, sad, I know. No one ever sent me flowers either. I could so relate. And so you have it – a pity party in progress!

Suddenly I jumped up and said, hey, why don’t I send you flowers on your next birthday and you can strut them around your office? And so that’s how this little annual ritual of ours got started. I would order flowers to be delivered to her office, signed “Happy Birthday, From your secret admirer” and she would do the same. For years, that’s how we redeemed ourselves in the eyes of our co-workers.

3 strange things that happened this week

Posted by Clairity 6 Responses »

Oct 062011

I couldn’t find the post office near our house. They’ve moved again! That’s how outdated I am.
The bank teller handed me the date stamp and told me to stamp the deposit form myself while she went to photocopy the check. A shining example of taking customer service to a new level.
I drove down an almost-vertical ramp in a basement parking lot. Free roller coaster ride, anyone?

A song for every occasion

Posted by Clairity 6 Responses »

Oct 042011

We’re being ‘entertained’ by the sounds of endless drilling, hammering and knocking coming from next door. The racket is going on. all. day. long so much so we practically have to shout to be heard!

Well, it’s not only our talking that’s interrupted, it seems. So is my singing. Every time I burst into song, I have to compete with the racket outside. And it seems that I do burst into song quite often over the course of the day. Before this, I just hadn’t realized how often.

Apparently I have a song for every occasion too. Sometimes I’m inspired by my girls’ show of affection. Like if they ask if I love them, I would jokingly burst into Michael Bolton’s “Said I Loved You But I Lied”.

Sometimes my answer to a question might be from a song. For instance, when my girls are shouting for me downstairs to hurry up or they’ll be late for class, I would reply with Michael McDonald’s “Ya Mo Be There”.

Or if my girls complain that they’re bored, my answer would be the Bee Gees’ “You Should be ~~Dancing~~ Studying, yeah!” Gets them every time ! Or if they’re asking where I’ve been, I’m likely to go “Splish splash, I was taking a bath”!

You get the picture! This bursting into song is quite involuntary, and yes, I know I’m weird and whacky but it’s fun and my kids love it.

Are you guilty of being a whacky mom too and what fun things do you do with your kids?

My relationship with Mr Relm

Posted by Clairity 12 Responses »

Sep 222011

A lady called today to conduct a phone survey of some sort. As with these types of calls, I can never really make out 100% of what the caller is saying. Either I’m hard of hearing or the phone connection is wonky or the caller has language issues. Or all of the above, I’m not sure.

Anyhow our conversation went something like this:

She: So how’s your relationship with our Relationship Manager?

I didn’t catch his name but let’s just call him Mr Relm for short.

Me: (Oh now, that’s private, that’s between him and me .) There is no relationship with your Relationship Manager. He’s never called me. I’ve never heard from him. There is no relationship.

I could sense her uneasiness. Maybe she hadn’t expected such a long answer. It’s probably not on her script.

She: Um, would you like to do this survey in another language, ma’am?

Me: (I thought I’d just established my language prowess there! Okay, maybe she’s having trouble understanding me? Hmm!) No, English would be fine.

She: Okay, can we start the survey now?

Me: (Again?!!! *smoke coming out my ears*) Sure, can you make it quick please (before my patience runs out)?

She: So ma’am, how is your relationship with our Relationship Manager?

Me: (Here we go round the mulberry bush!) Like I just said, there is no relationship between me and your Relationship Manager, end of story.

Sorry, lady, but you caught me in the middle of skyping with my son and I really don’t have time for you, period.

How would you have reacted?

Look, ma, no carbs!

Posted by Clairity 1 Response »

Aug 232011

It’s been a while since we were this crazy. Set us loose in a newly-reopened grocery store and this is what happens.

We filled our tray with… well, these are veggies disguised to look like pastries. I swear there’s so much variety to choose from we had to flip a custom coin to help us decide!

And these are, well, I know what you’re thinking. Sushi, right? Heck no! Look again, see, they’re good old cauliflowers topped with peaches (some folks call them smoked salmon) and um, mushrooms (sometimes called unagi or eel, I think)?

What a way to start August

Posted by Clairity 10 Responses »

Aug 022011

Happy August! Can’t believe we’re in August. Now let me tell you how August has started for me…

Our water supply stopped suddenly on the last day of July. That can only mean one thing – that we roll into August with taps completely dry. Did I forget to pay the bill? No, I just did last week. Oh well, so it must be something else!

We have an outdoor water filtration system that just decided it would stop working. for no apparent reason. I don’t typically fall for the ‘no apparent reason’ story. But I was led to believe the filter had gotten blocked so no water was getting through.

Okay, fine, whatever! As long as I can brush my teeth and have my shower before bedtime, whatever it is can wait. In any case, I decided to call the filter company anyways and since it was Sunday night, what was I really expecting?

So yeah, whatever the problem might as well just add itself to my Monday morning blues list. If I’m going to be miserable, it might as well be a Monday, right?

First thing Monday morning, I call the filter company and they said they’d send someone over. The guy takes one look at my water filter and goes, why isn’t the lever turned on?

I’m like, right, so-oo that’s it, huh?!! Reeally, huh?

The lever’s been shut off, ma’am, that’s why you have no water!

Ya, ya, ya, I heard ya the first time!

Just great, someone must’ve turned the filter off to do a backwash and forgot to turn it back on! Fortunately, that someone wasn’t me (not going to name names here ). Unfortunately, I was the one standing in front of the water filter guy looking like an idiot.

The first day of August had me walking around with a paper bag over my head. Yes, what a laugh!