Hip to be Mom» Humor & crazy stuff

The eleventh hour

Clairity — Wed, 16 May 2012 01:56:33 +0000

This is the typical scenario in our house on the weekend before the exams.

“Mom, I need to go to the bookstore. Got to buy some workbooks.” — “Okay, when are the exams?” — “Next week.”
“I can’t find my Biology book! Has anyone seen it? It has a blue cover.” — “Isn’t it on the table? Thought I saw it there.” — “No, that’s not the one! Can someone help me find it please? My test is tomorrow!”
“Has anyone seen my test timetable? Think I need to text my friend to text it to me!”
“How can you study with those headphones on?” — “Music helps me remember.” — Wokay !

4:00pm with book over head: “Zzzzzzzzzzzzz!” — “Wake up and get studying!” — “I am, Mom… by the process of osmosis!”
20th trip to the fridge: “Where are you going – again!?” — “Hungry, Mom, gotta eat!”
10:00pm: “Going to sleep, Mom, goodnight.”

No grades were harmed in the actual exams.

Quinoa and us, the anti-climax

Clairity — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 03:40:57 +0000

I’m not sure what possessed me to buy a whole bag of this. But I did.

Yup, you see it right there inside that mushroom cap, peeking out from underneath the layer of cheese.

Quinoa!!

That’s right. Quinoa.

I’m sorry I can’t post a close-up because just looking at it gives me goosebumps! This is the best I can do. As long as I don’t see it, I’m fine. I mean, after all, it’s just a grain, right? And the name sounds so cool some celebrity will name their baby after it, just you wait.

So how was I to know an innocent grain could look so utterly unattractive when cooked?

Okay, here’s the story. I’ve been reading about quinoa. The rave reviews. The health benefits. The disclaimer, I’m not someone who falls for health fads like detoxes or enzymes or electronic belts that can jiggle away your belly fat (huh!), or whatever’s making the rounds on the internet today.

I prefer to err on the side of common sense and I do my homework before I even think about jumping onto the bandwagon. Exactly why I don’t bother with Facebook. Apparently some people (not all) get such a big kick from posting a bunch of bull. And people actually believe that bull!!

Quinoa, now that’s a different story. It’s not an urban legend. It’s not from an email spam written by some 10-year-old kid with too much time on his hands. Quinoa is supposed to be good for you and I thought we could actually be good together. But I just can’t stomach looking at it!

You know we don’t like to waste food. *sigh* So I forced down 4 of those quinoa stuffed mushrooms, Skye ate 3 with her eyes closed and Raine only managed 1 before she started to gag. We were laughing so hard we almost fell off our chairs as we tried to wash it all down with a gallon of iced lemon tea. Pretty traumatic but funny!

Now I have a whole bowl left over! No one’s going to eat it. So it’s going to the dogs. Or birds. Literally. I’m dropping the whole bag of it off at the park with a little note to our feathered and furry friends, Enjoy and here’s to good health! Skye, my animal lover, is going, Mom, are you trying to kill the birds in the park? Or the dogs? No, honey, they’ll be in the pink of health when they’re done with dinner.

I have a whole bag of uncooked quinoa in my pantry! It’s expensive and I don’t want to waste it. What am I going to do? I’m thinking maybe I should make quinoa dog food for Tyson. Now where do I find quinoa recipes for dogs?

That obligatory what-I-had-for-lunch post

Clairity — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 14:39:13 +0000

Okay, so here’s the post that has everyone on the edge of their seats. The “what I had for lunch” post. I know everyone’s dying to know what’s for lunch today… and I’m not going to disappoint you guys. Oh no!

Bacon on Italian toast

Fiery tuna on Italian toast (Spicy advisory: Have a fire extinguisher nearby!)

And that’s it! Did you think there was more? Am I on a diet? Not this carb freak . I need my carbs. I love my carbs. And don’t let the size of the toast fool you either. Two little slices of my Italian toast = 4 slices of regular storebought air. Ya, I know, my pet peeve, that!

My new toaster oven did a good job, eh? Our old one went to toaster heaven more than a year ago and that’s exactly how long I’ve procrastinated. I’ve been spending most of my days sitting in traffic jams, that’s why!

It’s a really simple toaster oven with an on-off timer instead of the one with the temperature setting (since I already have that on my inverter oven). Quickest buying decision ever. Let’s toast to that!

Here’s my heart

Clairity — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:30:57 +0000

Okay, so this is the day to declare your undying love for each other. Swoon all you want but it’s gonna cost ya . Well, I’m past the roses and dinners. Valentine’s is strictly for the bees.

But here’s what I got! Raine drew this adorable little heart for me because she lurves her mama . Darling, ain’t it?

Happy Valentine’s Day, or unValentine’s Day depending on how you feel about this day. And to those who’ve been reading and commenting here, I love you guys !

Oops, I did it again!

Clairity — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:30:32 +0000

I’ve done it again. Made another boo-boo. I dropped Raine off at her early morning class and took the wrong way home. Don’t ask me how I can get lost on a route that I’m on every single day of the week. Don’t even ask !

But yeah, it happens. I’m not sure if it’s ever happened to you, but if it has, I’d love to hear about it. It would make me feel a whole lot better .

Point is, if I didn’t do silly things like this, where would I even find the occasion to laugh at myself, right? Laughing at other people when bad things happen to them is unacceptable. But laughing at yourself, now that’s different and it’s good for your psyche even.

But I digress. Back to how I turned up a blind ramp onto the highway and there was this oil truck doing some stunts and everyone was swerving to avoid it. With all this confusion going on, I somehow ended up on the wrong lane.

Fine, I was a little distracted and it was only when I made the turn that I noticed the scenery wasn’t quite familiar. Apparently I wasn’t alone though. Seems like the car in front of me made the same boo-boo! What a laugh!

Book adventures of a different kind

Clairity — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:46:17 +0000

So I drop in at the college library after class today to borrow a couple of books. Me in a library? Now that’s almost unheard of! These days, there’s nothing I can’t find on the net, right? Wrong! Long story short, I really have to get my hands on those books. So it’s not like I have much of a choice.

I push the glass door open and step in gingerly. Madam Librarian at the front desk eyes me through the top of her reading glasses. I spot the electronic turnstile and head for it. The little light on it is red. Now I don’t know about you but to me, red spells danger, stop. So I hesitate, my hand gripping the card hanging round my neck.

I can feel Madam Librarian’s eyes burning holes in my back. “Tap with your card!” she commands from her post behind the counter. I look back at her, she nods and repeats her order, making no attempt to keep her voice down. Last I remember, libraries are where you can actually hear a cotter pin drop, no?

The turnstile rolls and I’m in. Whew! Now that wasn’t so bad! Okay, so what now? I must’ve said it out loud because I see her motioning me to a hidden door that leads to the teacher’s book area. So what it is about restricted areas that they makes them so restrictive in space as well?

The aisles between the book shelves are obviously made for teachers the size of supermodels. Now I’m no supermodel and I’m carrying 2 shoulder bags and trying to make my way down a book aisle that’s the width of a hair. And before you can say “ssshush”, I’m bringing books crashing down from the shelf behind me. Oh no!!

I can almost imagine the look on Madam Librarian’s face. Hurriedly locating the books I need, I head for the exit hoping to make a quick getaway. I head straight for the exit marked OUT in big bold letters. Next thing I know, the alarms start going off and I’m standing there between the two electronic posts with yellow lights twirling on both sides of me!!

Madam Librarian looks none too pleased, and almost drops her reading glasses as she reaches down to deactivate the alarm. Apparently there’s another exit which isn’t wired and it looks just like the swinging doors at a cowboy saloon. Like I said, I’m pretty rusty around libraries. Either that or I’m a complete klutz!